Whether Map*

The BBC weather map says it all.

If you are Scottish you will understand. If you have ever heard the noun ‘England’ used when the speaker really means Britain you will understand. If you, like me, have ever woken the baby up by bellowing at the TV when that prat Greenwood has crowed on and on and on about ‘us’ and ‘we’ and ignoring the game he is there to comment on (SA v Arg). If you have ever tried to ring Steve Ryder to tell him that, in a language older than his bastard English, ‘Awstralia’ IS the correct spelling. Or if you think that ITV should remember that they are broadcasting to Britain NOT JUST EFFING ENGLAND, if you can say yes any of the above then don’t bother reading on.

No, I will only be saying what you already know: The 'National' media (?!) are almost totally LondonEnglandCentric.

But, to rugby...

Gawd help us. The dilemma of the Rugby Fan is upon us. The legend of the t-shirt is being strained somewhat, “I only support two teams – Wales and whoever’s playing England.”

Ronnie and Dennis in the garage were saying that they really wanted a Northern Hemisphere team to win it to shut up the South. But, when it comes to it, they really can’t find it in their hearts to support England. Not through small-mindedness, you understand, but simply for the fact that Such A Limited Team might triumph.

The England v France game was dreadful. I was so disappointed in France. They have players that can play running, winning rugby. When France run and burst and flow they can beat anyone. And they have. But, oh my word, they were lacking in any endeavour or passion. Commenters on the game may talk of energy levels and positional tactical awareness and ABC and managing the contact area but I think the French should be ashamed of themselves for being dispassionate. And I’m not saying they didn’t try hard enough, no, they tried very hard all right. They tried to very hard to be English.

For all their faults, The English are very good at being English. Dull, uninspiring, efficient, big and rumbly, par excellence. But should that win you a world cup?

Hmmm.

But then, can you bring yourself to support the Yarpies? I really don’t know – I flit from yea to nay. They do have The Cheetah Hunter on the wing but then they have Bitch James and Schalk…

It really is a conundrum for a fella to grapple with. Whether or not to support the...

‘I really want both teams to lose’

As long as Darling Jonny has a mare and misses his (drop) kicks and as long as James at 10 gets seriously injured by a cheap, cowardly, late, high shot that gets missed by the ref and the citing commissioner then I suppose I will be ok about the result.

Possibly.

I suspect I will just have to wait until the game is over and see how I feel then. You?

*sic.