In the light of poor old lemon face’s ‘resignation’ I sat a-pondering…
Robinson talks in his resignation announcement, of the need for the English season to be re-evaluated
the current structure and system for developing elite rugby players and performance in the international arena is not working.
No sh|t, Sherlock.
In the light of the Ali-esque style of play adopted by the all-conquering All Blacks I think we can safely say that the whole of European rugby needs a bit of a jiggery and shake. We are glaringly, yet again, behind a southern hemisphere nation. The fact that we are only behind one-third of the tri-nations teams is really rather small beer; South Africa are not much cop and Australia appear somewhat confused (though I am pleased to see they have stopped obstruction tactics midfield. Thank you, Sgoddy). The AB’s, despite their propensity for cheating (leave it, Wilbach, leave it… Ed) are once again quite a way out front, looking back and laughing.
So, my little chickadees, what can be done? Well, England and France can stop arsing about and waggling their sausages or sauccisson from their self-mounted high horses and get on board with The Jocks, The Micks, The Eye-ties and The Village Idiots and sort out this dog’s dinner of a season. It could be so easy, on the eye, brain and wallet. Let me try to explain…
Season starts in September, oui? Och Aye, Si, Sure, Tidy, Oui.
National leagues til Christmas,
then
British and Irish league in two divisions [7 Saes, 3 Jocks, 4 Micks & 4 Straw Suckers]
then
European Cup including Johnny Foreigner teams from Italia et France,
then
Finish with 6 Nations in May/June.
[And, Oi, JohnnyFrog, no playing into the middle of bloody summer with yer interminable leagues and cups, OK? Give the bois a bit of a rest to play touch, boules, cricket and go on holidays or beer up and eat cake and curries and recharge, yeah?] And beneath that, whatever semi-pro leagues and cups the individual unions fancy and can raise sponsorship for which can they do which (mustn’t end with a preposition, dear…).
There. Is that SO difficult? The whole season would be run by Me, My Wife and A Small NGO of Curry House Owners from the Roath Area. Oh, all right then, if you insist… spoil sports. The Whole Thing would be overseen by a European Committee and look to include teams from Romania, Spain, Russia etc in satellite competitions to raise both the profile and funds for the smaller Unions and Federations with the long term goal of having 8 Nations Competing by 2020 in all competitions. Fewer games for the elite players and an internal limit on foreign (non-European) players. Because of the streamlined and less chaotic structure, you see, we wouldn’t need so many southern Hemi’s and Argies, thus freeing up places for home-grown talent
I think in Wales we suffer sometimes because we only ever will have a maximum of four players playing in and competing for each position (one from each region). And before you start, NO, I AM NOT AGAINST SOME CLASSY PLAYERS FROM OUTSIDE OF EUROPE BRINGING THEIR EXPERIENCE INTO THE UNIONS. Players like Frano Botic… well, perhaps not him. But ‘Zavvier’ Rush, Justin Warren (?!) Marshall and the Scarlet Tongan, Inoke Afeaki. Even The Big Bustard (as Gavin Hastings memorably called him) Jonah brought something unique to the game in Wales. However, by negating the need for non-called-away-on-international-duty-players, their salaries, places and opportunities would then be available to Nationals who could rise up the pyramid to represent their country. If we have enough youngsters playing the game that is…
Right then, National Assembly. Put our money where your mouth is and give us not yet more bludi regional development officers but more school coaches or funds to release teachers to coach school teams.
But, I digress (again. Ed)
So, Sausage Wavers out there, get off Mr Shadowfax and bludi-well sort this out, before I get firebombed by some irate, articulate Kiwis.
Yours truly,
Wilbach IV*
They still cheat, y’know, whatever they say. And I still don’t like it. Never did. George Smith, Neil Back, Richie McCawt-in-the-ruck all the bludi same. Not like our Nice Martin Williams.
Oh, and (singing) Ha-Ha-Ha! England are rubbish and pants and I remember Chief cutting Robinson in half in Ponty and he cried and couldn’t get up and they are having the same problems that we usually have but it is someone else other than us so that makes me feel betterer! Lah-lah, la-la-laaaaaaahteeeeheeeee!
* Village Idiot. Dyslexic Village Idiot, atually.